Radical Self

The Affair I Almost Had and the Spark That Led Us to Open Our Marriage

The ten years of monogamy that led us to open our marriage.Before Þórhildur ever said the word "polyamory," she spent ten years building a monogamous marriage — one that moved through teenage infatuation, an unplanned pregnancy at 20, the identity earthquake of new motherhood, a devastating low point disguised as wedding planning, a work "friendship" that turned into real feelings, and a slow, hard-won return to connection. In this episode, she tells the full story: the parts she doesn't usually share on the podcast. It's not a highlight reel — it's the honest, sometimes messy account of a normal relationship that eventually opened, and why understanding those ten years matters just as much as the eight years of open marriage that came after. If you've ever wondered whether your "boring" struggles could actually be pointing you toward a different kind of relationship, this episode is for you.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

"Every woman wants to be a dirty little slut" a Conversation with a Kink Mentor

Some women are 100% soft little vanilla beans... for the rest of us. This is a show for you. For the powerful babes who need a little firm hand but desperately end up biting it instead of submitting... and all the people who dare to love us and play with us. More about Julieta ChiaraCome learn to tie, surrender & play w/ power⚡️Kinoko Rope Instructor | Subby Mentor🧵 NawaFoundations™ | Empowered Sub Academy👇 Solo Sub Challenge
www.julietachiara.com/explore 
https://www.instagram.com/julietachiara 🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

Your Sexual Self Doesn’t Care About Your Logic

A deep conversation about the “sexual self” — the inner part of you that governs desire, turn-ons, boundaries, and truth — and what happens when you stop silencing it.
What if the part of you that governs your sexuality doesn’t care about your self-image, your relationship rules, or what makes sense logically?
In this episode, I explore the concept of the sexual self — the independent inner persona that holds your desires, turn-ons, boundaries, fantasies, and truth.
I talk about:
Why so many people feel conflicted in long-term relationships
The disconnect between the logical self and the sexual self
Why suppressing desire creates tension, numbness, and performance-based sex
My own experience of silencing my bisexuality
How conversations about non-monogamy often reveal a deeper issue: disconnection from desire itself
The powerful shift that happens when you stop treating your sexuality like a problem to solve
This is not really an episode about non-monogamy.
It’s an episode about honesty.
About listening to the part of you that has been whispering underneath the performance all along.PS. The movie I mention is called Golden Compass. 
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

The Courage to Question Your Life. Marcel Interviews Thorhildur

What if the people around you are no longer helping you grow, but quietly keeping you small?
My boyfriend interviewed me and asked me some deeply personal questions about growth, relationships, and polyamory. We talked about the moments in my life where I wish I had been challenged differently, how new people and fresh perspectives have shaped me, and why growth often comes in waves of expansion and integration.
We also explored what I’ve learned from being polyamorous for eight years, whether I’ve ever wanted to go back, and what I would say to someone who is curious about non-monogamy. More than anything, this conversation is about freedom, self-trust, and what it means for me to choose a life and relationships that feel true.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

The Rejection Spiral: Why Sex Dies in Long-Term Relationships

“This isn’t a relationship problem. It’s a cultural one.”
In this episode of Radical Self, I’m joined by my partner Marcel for a raw, vulnerable, and deeply human conversation about desire, rejection, and what actually happens in long-term heterosexual relationships when sex becomes difficult.
We talk about the quiet despair men feel when they are repeatedly rejected, the pressure women experience when desire feels like an obligation, and the cultural conditioning that traps couples in a painful loop of shame, withdrawal, and misunderstanding.
This isn’t about blame. It’s about seeing the pattern clearly — and learning how to sit side by side instead of opposite each other. If you’ve ever felt undesired, pressured, lonely, or afraid to talk about sex with your partner, this conversation will name what you’ve been feeling and offer a new way forward.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

Why Your Wife Doesn’t Tell You What She Really Wants in Bed

Your wife isn’t rejecting you. She’s protecting herself (likely without knowing).
And if her ‘no’ isn’t fully deeply safe with you, her ‘yes’ stopped being real a long time ago.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

Your Overthinking Is Killing the Spark. Ask these 5 Questions to Bring It Back.

When your relationship starts to feel like a puzzle you can’t solve…
When your body feels the tension before your mind finds the words…
That’s your invitation.
 
In this intimate solo episode, I share five questions that will help you shift from mental noise into emotional clarity — from looping thoughts to embodied truth.
Get a notebook and pen and get ready because: 
These are the questions that turned frustration into connection, and helped me remember what intimacy actually feels like.
 
You’ll walk away knowing how to:
🕊️ Meet tension with awareness, not avoidance
💞 Trace your triggers to their roots
🔥 Invite your partner into co-creation, not control
 
This is your permission to stop analyzing love — and start experiencing it again.
Perfect for anyone who’s tired of analyzing and ready to feel their relationship again.If you loved this I would love to hear it! Send me a DM on Instagram @rise.with.thorhildur
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

Owning Your Erotic Aliveness: From Shame to Sovereignty

What does it mean to own your erotic aliveness?
And why do so many of us feel frozen, disconnected, or shamed out of our natural erotic essence?
 
In this episode of Radical Self, Thorhildur dives deep into the four words that can change everything: Owning Your Erotic Aliveness.
 
You’ll discover:
🔥 What “erotic” really means beyond sex — and how it’s the pulse of life moving through you.
🌱 Why society trains us to shut it down… and how that creates disconnection, shame, and performance-based intimacy.
💃 How to thaw out, reclaim your desires, and step into your erotic sovereignty.
🌹 Why your erotic life is your responsibility — and how embracing it opens doors to freedom, intimacy, and joy.
✨ Practical ways to bloom where you’re planted (and move environments when you need to).
Thorhildur weaves stories from her own journey — from economics student to tantric teacher, from feeling like “property” in her marriage to stepping into full sovereignty — to show you what’s possible when you dare to embody your erotic aliveness.
 
This is a call to liberation. A reminder that your erotic essence is not something to be managed, hidden, or performed — it’s your birthright.
 
🌹 If you’re ready to release shame, reconnect with your body, and reclaim your erotic life, listen in.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

My Partners Freedom Turns Me On: Polyamorous Couple Overheard

I could have named this show “I Masturbated to the Thought of You With Someone Else…”
In our third podcast episode together Marcel (my partner of 2 years) and I dive deep into topics like freedom, jealousy, tears, solo polyamory, sexual freedom, and maturity in open love. Recorded in a hammock in southern Spain, we explore:
-How freedom can be both inspiring and terrifying in relationships.
-If they could remove one pain from each other's lives, what it would be.
-How fear can actually deepen love.
-Honest stories about jealousy—including a frightening hotel room moment.
-Why jealousy is often a mirror of our own unmet desires.
-Crying for the first time in 10 years and redefining masculinity.
-The difference between envy and jealousy.
-Solo polyamory: loving without merging lives.
-The unexpected way opening a relationship changes desire.
-Myths about open love, and why it’s not a constant orgy.
-The beauty of living relationships by conscious choice.
-The most sovereign version of us in love.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

The “Fuck It” Moment

Have you ever felt the quiet nudge that says, “This isn’t it”?
This episode is about the sacred moment we say “f**k it” and choose to stop waiting and start living.
 
I share why we stall, how fear disguises itself as logic, and what happens when we finally listen to our soul’s whisper. Plus, I’ll tell you how to work with me if you’re ready to rise.
 
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer