Radical Self

"I trust my partner, I just don't trust other people." It's a statement Thorhildur hears constantly from people curious about, but hesitant toward, non-monogamy. In this episode, recorded from bed in Munich after a day of mini golf and lake time, she's joined by her boyfriend Marcel to pull the statement apart layer by layer.
They dig into who that statement is really about (hint: not the "other people"), why it often reveals a deeper mistrust of your own partner rather than strangers, and why it's so much easier to blame an abstract "other" than to have the harder conversation at home. Using a poll Thorhildur ran on Instagram, they walk through the different fears hiding underneath this excuse: not trusting others to respect agreements, worrying someone will "steal" your partner, and the deeper questions of ownership, jealousy, and security those fears expose.
Thorhildur and Marcel also share a real example of what it can look like when this fear is met with communication instead of avoidance, and why for many people, this statement isn't the end of a conversation but the start of one.
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy & get over 50% OFF the standard price if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity:  https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy

Someone slid into Thorhildur's DMs with a familiar problem: he and his wife tried swinging, he loved it, and now she's done. She's not interested anymore, and he doesn't know what to do next.
In this episode, recorded on a bright Icelandic midsummer evening walking around a lake, Thorhildur answers the question by going back to her own experience of mismatched desire in her marriage, the moment she realized she couldn't wait for her husband to move things forward, and what it actually took to own that desire instead of quietly resenting him for not sharing it.
She gets into why shame (not lack of love) is usually what's underneath these stuck points, why blaming your partner keeps you stuck, and the sovereign question she asks herself when she's waiting on someone else to create her happiness: would I be okay if I never get this? She also names the risk of not facing that question honestly, and how unmet desire can end up surfacing sideways when you least expect it.
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy & get over 50% OFF the standard price if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity:  https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy

"Non-monogamy is just about sex." "It means you love your partner less." "It's inherently unstable." Thorhildur has heard it all, and in this episode she's busting the 7 biggest myths, one by one.
Drawing on her own decade-long journey from monogamy to polyamory, plus years of coaching clients through the same terrain, she unpacks mononormativity: the invisible belief that monogamy is the "correct" default that everything else has to justify itself against. She takes apart the idea that opening up means something is broken, that it's just a phase, that it's for people running from commitment, or that it means no rules and no structure. Along the way, she gets into the post-traumatic growth research behind why hard conversations can actually build deeper trust, and why love, unlike time, isn't something you run out of.
Whether you're curious, skeptical, or somewhere in between, this one's going to challenge what you thought you knew.
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy & get over 50% OFF the standard price if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity:  https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy

There's a question most people are too scared to ask their partner — and it's not "can I sleep with someone else?" It's will you still love me if I tell you the truth?
In this episode, Thorhildur unpacks the real cost of staying silent about what you want in your relationship — and why that silence, not honesty, is usually what causes the disconnection. Drawing from her own experience opening a 10-year marriage and years of coaching clients through the same threshold, she breaks down the difference between freedom and permission, why "reckless freedom" backfires, and why the goal was never to put a label on your relationship — it was always to feel safe enough to speak.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

The ten years of monogamy that led us to open our marriage.Before Þórhildur ever said the word "polyamory," she spent ten years building a monogamous marriage — one that moved through teenage infatuation, an unplanned pregnancy at 20, the identity earthquake of new motherhood, a devastating low point disguised as wedding planning, a work "friendship" that turned into real feelings, and a slow, hard-won return to connection. In this episode, she tells the full story: the parts she doesn't usually share on the podcast. It's not a highlight reel — it's the honest, sometimes messy account of a normal relationship that eventually opened, and why understanding those ten years matters just as much as the eight years of open marriage that came after. If you've ever wondered whether your "boring" struggles could actually be pointing you toward a different kind of relationship, this episode is for you.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

Some women are 100% soft little vanilla beans... for the rest of us. This is a show for you. For the powerful babes who need a little firm hand but desperately end up biting it instead of submitting... and all the people who dare to love us and play with us. More about Julieta ChiaraCome learn to tie, surrender & play w/ power⚡️Kinoko Rope Instructor | Subby Mentor🧵 NawaFoundations™ | Empowered Sub Academy👇 Solo Sub Challenge
www.julietachiara.com/explore 
https://www.instagram.com/julietachiara 🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

A deep conversation about the “sexual self” — the inner part of you that governs desire, turn-ons, boundaries, and truth — and what happens when you stop silencing it.
What if the part of you that governs your sexuality doesn’t care about your self-image, your relationship rules, or what makes sense logically?
In this episode, I explore the concept of the sexual self — the independent inner persona that holds your desires, turn-ons, boundaries, fantasies, and truth.
I talk about:
Why so many people feel conflicted in long-term relationships
The disconnect between the logical self and the sexual self
Why suppressing desire creates tension, numbness, and performance-based sex
My own experience of silencing my bisexuality
How conversations about non-monogamy often reveal a deeper issue: disconnection from desire itself
The powerful shift that happens when you stop treating your sexuality like a problem to solve
This is not really an episode about non-monogamy.
It’s an episode about honesty.
About listening to the part of you that has been whispering underneath the performance all along.PS. The movie I mention is called Golden Compass. 
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

What if the people around you are no longer helping you grow, but quietly keeping you small?
My boyfriend interviewed me and asked me some deeply personal questions about growth, relationships, and polyamory. We talked about the moments in my life where I wish I had been challenged differently, how new people and fresh perspectives have shaped me, and why growth often comes in waves of expansion and integration.
We also explored what I’ve learned from being polyamorous for eight years, whether I’ve ever wanted to go back, and what I would say to someone who is curious about non-monogamy. More than anything, this conversation is about freedom, self-trust, and what it means for me to choose a life and relationships that feel true.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

“This isn’t a relationship problem. It’s a cultural one.”
In this episode of Radical Self, I’m joined by my partner Marcel for a raw, vulnerable, and deeply human conversation about desire, rejection, and what actually happens in long-term heterosexual relationships when sex becomes difficult.
We talk about the quiet despair men feel when they are repeatedly rejected, the pressure women experience when desire feels like an obligation, and the cultural conditioning that traps couples in a painful loop of shame, withdrawal, and misunderstanding.
This isn’t about blame. It’s about seeing the pattern clearly — and learning how to sit side by side instead of opposite each other. If you’ve ever felt undesired, pressured, lonely, or afraid to talk about sex with your partner, this conversation will name what you’ve been feeling and offer a new way forward.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer

Your wife isn’t rejecting you. She’s protecting herself (likely without knowing).
And if her ‘no’ isn’t fully deeply safe with you, her ‘yes’ stopped being real a long time ago.
🎁 FREE gifts from Thorhildur if you are curious about Non-monogamy:
{Video Coaching} 13 Questions to Ask Before You Redesign Your Love Life - that’ll save you years of struggle & confusion: https://risewiththorhildur.com/video-freebie-nonmonogamy
{PDF Playbook} Tired of default monogamy? Grab this 24-page guide and broaden your horizon to what else could be possible for you: https://risewiththorhildur.com/pdf-freebie-nonmonogamy
Ready to go deeper?
❤️ JOIN the waitlist for Life Beyond Monogamy if you want to stop fantasizing about Non-Monogamy and start living it with full safety, respect & clarity: https://risewiththorhildur.com/waitlist-bigcourse
💃“Let’s Talk About It“ Mini Course - Learn the exact framework on how to have a Non-Monogamy conversation with your partner (even if you end up staying monogamous!). Immediate access, €27 only: https://risewiththorhildur.com/letstalkaboutit
👑 Want to be coached by Thorhildur? Apply to be on the waitlist when spots open up. https://ed32n3rhwta.typeform.com/to/iiJrnwer